Drowning

I'm drowning.
Drowning in a sea of confusion.
Nothing to keep me afloat.
Not even your words.
Your words have long faded out.
As I choke on the salty wet I wonder..
Where are you?
You are not here.
Were you ever really here?
Or was this all just a state of my own confusion?
Maybe I confused myself into thinking you wanted to be here.
When all along you wanted to be somewhere else.
We were sailing in the right direction...you and me.
But somewhere, somehow, along the way, our ship sailed off course.
Now I am lost at sea.
And you, you are not here.
Now I am drowning and I will never know...
How did you ever really feel about me?
Did you ever really want me?
Maybe it was just a state of your own confusion
and you used me to try and help make things clear?
I resent that.
I resent you for that and I never wanted to.
There is so much I want to say to you.
But my mouth is filling up with water..
This makes me realize that maybe my words for you, were never meant to escape my mouth.
It really is amazing the feelings you discover you possess when you think you might be losing someone...
When you might be losing yourself.
I will never understand why it all changed.
Why you left me here.
Drowning.